i'm sorry for hurting you.

I know i have hurt you once again.

Today is our 2 month and 10days.

I really missed the days when we first met and had. 

I remember the second day we know each other, u got worried for me becos i sick. 

And you accompany me the whole night. 

I caused you to get burn and got a scar which u will nvr forget.

Neither do I.

Im really sorry..

I doesnt wants it..

But i feel that if we continue mayb we would get hurt more..

We are drifting..

I really love you, but maybe due to our busy schedule my feelings started to fade.

Maybe im over reliance of you by myself everyday for the first month.

I dont know if i can adapt my life without you..

I dont know whether u will still care for me..

But i hope everything remains the same..

You will still help me with cafe whenever u are free..

We will still continue to blog at this blog..

But if u dont want i understand..

Cos i hurt you. Cos you are busy. Cos u dont have to blog here anymore.

I really thanks for ur everything. 

Your time ur effort ur hardwork and ur love..

I really dont know why i will become like that..

I really hope time will remain like last time..

Become ganstead is because when u needs me i will still be there as a gf for you.

Whenever you are down or something, i will be there.

Next thing i worried is, what will your parents think about me..

Will i be a bad girl and leave a bad impression..

What about ur busy schedule, ur various problems, and i break with you and given u sadness..

Will you be able to cope?

Thanks alot for helping me in my art.

Really..

Almost everything is done by you..

But what i did..

I never give in.

I need you to tolerate with me..

I given u stress..

I give u attitude..

I spoil your mood..

You are a great bf..

No one treated me as good as you did.

My first ex was indeed good.

But what i did to you, i did to him too.

But i did cried. 

I was wondering if im wrong to do that..

I tell myself i wont do that again but i did.

So sorry.

I know i shouldnt have done that.

But we have been talking lesser.

And seems like we have nothing to talk.

Sometimes i really feel very pekcek and stress but u are talking lame stuff and doing childish things.

Then i really feel abit irritated.

Sometimes u just wanted to make me happy, but i really dont appreciate it. 

I know u treated me really well.

I know u love me alot.

I know u care for me.

I know u want to be with me forever.

But i just cant give u happiness.

If after awhile i fall in love with another guy and i stead with him..

Will you blame me?

Will my impression in you change?

Will you forgive me and continue to help me in my art?

Will you?

I dropping my tears.

I think my bro saw.

I know u working.

I really wish i can know how to really feel now..

I know u dont want to tell me cos u scare i worried. 

I know u still love me, right? 

You are disappointed in me right?

How are you now?

Can we still be like last time?

We chat, we joke, we have lovely chats.

And spend our time together..

Or you feel that is too pain for you?

I just to selfish.

I'm just too greddy.

Im the one who is in the wrong but im still asking so much.

When can i treat u eat and spend my money.?

Can we still be able to every month the 23rd give each other a gift?

Im really sorry for hurting you.

I will find time to blog..

May god bless you.

May all my wishes goes to you and may all your wishes come true! 

DONT DROP YOUR TEARS PLS! 

Dont tell me that u are touched. 

Treat it as i repay u de okay?

I wanted to become a girl girl, dress like a girl girl ,part of it also becos of you okay? 

If i'm not wrong, i only said i love you to you twice.

Now i wanted to say it again: " I LOVE YOU and I AM SORRY"

I today in school i feel like dying.

I really dont know why.

I just feel like dying and im really stressed up.

But i didnt really do it. 

I attitude you.

I say i will change but i didnt. 

I break my promise..

But u keep trying hard on everything. 

I will do everything to repay you.

You give me a chance and let me have a chance to takecare and sayang you and love you as a ganstead alright?

Signing off with pain and hope to repent and repay you, Jolene piglet ( will be ur piglet forever cos that is what u gave me) 

*shall we still continue still be "stead" and dont let ur parents know that we break? After ur sis marriage, see whether to let them know?

I dont want them to worried for ur sis marriage then still worried for you. 

Then u sad and stuff. Im worried too.

I wish im rich so i can help u pay off the 20k debts and you all can earn money and spend.

I really wants to help..

Signing off with pain and sadness and hope to repay with time, jolene piglet care for xavier ahboy. 
Stay happy pls..